


Felicia Amelloides.

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [20]
Category: nonfandom
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, Self-Insert, ambiguous - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-28 17:36:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13908906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: As she walked through the cherry blossoms, she wondered what would happen to her and where she'd go. It hurt to think about.





	Felicia Amelloides.

**Author's Note:**

> This oneshot is one that isn't actually supposed to make any sense. I wanted it to sound a little poetic, but also very confusing so that it fits the prompt.
> 
> Please don't feel that you have to understand what all of this means. It's ambiguous on purpose- to represent the tumultuous mind of someone who doesn't quite know what they're doing or who they're supposed to like the best- their reality, or the reality they created to escape from it all.
> 
> By the way, my username is the scientific (Latin) name for a flower called a Blue Marguerite. It's a blue daisy, and one which some Hetalians think is the flower from season 5 (The World Twinkle) episode 11 of the anime Hetalia (the strip of the webcomic entitled 'Davie') I really like it~

Felicia had never liked a clear sky in the daytime. Some people lived for the glorious ocean of endless blue in summer, but she only really liked it when the sky was clear at night and she could see the world from outside of their planet. But in the day, she loved the clouds. The shapes they made and the way that the sunlight caught on them created truly brilliant masterpieces, ephemeral as they drifted and intermingled in the breeze.

It was spring, and the sky was particularly beautiful that morning as she walked amongst the blooming rapeseed fields on her way to school. Actually, she was kind of allergic to rapeseed, so she had to stop and use her inhaler in the middle of the field. Felicia didn't really mind, however. This was definitely the prettiest way to get to school, and she preferred it greatly over the concrete alleyway which cut behind her house to the school, even if it did extend her journey time by four hours.

By the time she arrived at school, she was wheezing and panting. It had been four hours since she took her inhaler last (the rapeseed field was only the beginning of her epic quest through all sorts of other fields), so she took it again, ignoring the stares that the other students gave her.

The pink petals of the sakura trees floated down like snow, coating the ground in strawberry icing as Felicia walked amongst the trees towards her friends. She had the typical friend group of an average half Japanese transfer student from Canada- one sadomasochistic yandere, one constantly peer pressured, opinionated tsundere, one closeted himedere, one hyperactive deredere and a very confused kuudere/undere hybrid. Felicia herself was the typical friendship group dandere, but she also happened to be a major otaku, pervert and fujoshi, a combination of the two.

Yandere-chan gazed at her phone lovingly, happily making out with her long distance girlfriend through Skype. Meanwhile, Himedere-chan and Kundere-chan were arguing about something, Deredere-chan was ranting to her perverted girlfriend about her soulmate and OTP for life- Luke Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano. Felicia uttered a quick "Ciao guys." before rushing over to her favourite Tsundere-chan.

Tsundere-chan shot her an irritated glare. "Shouldn't you be off writing manga or something?" She snapped. Oh no. Looks like Tsundere-chan is in a bad mood about something. Felicia wanted to pry, but didn't because Tsunchan would just hit her and yell at her if she did. They were best friends, but being BFFs with a tsundere was very emotionally exhausting, so she decided to drop the matter and leave.

Walking through the sakura blossom, Felicia wished to find someone in the petals who would help her to find herself. She was lost, and alone, and didn't really know where to go to return to who she really was. She had once been called 'self-pitying', and she agreed with the person who had called her that. But she didn't want to pity herself anymore, so she tried hard to care about others too. Still, her selfishness often got in the way of that, and when she thought too much about how weird she was she became self pitying once more. It was a vicious cycle.

Through the blossoms she occasionally found others. There was a girl with blonde hair and violet eyes who had helped her through a state of confusion, worry and melodrama. Then there was the boy, ginger with blue eyes, someone she recalled from somewhere else. He had helped her to figure out what she really wanted. But now that he was gone (too early, she thought), she found that she didn't really know anymore.

And then there was him. He floated above the trees, a strange combination of the other two now that she thought of it. Hair blond and wavy, eyes bluer than the sky she loved so much, he held her close enough that she felt safe but kept her far enough that she learnt more about who she was with him than with anyone. Her affections for him weren't just some petty schoolgirl crush. But no, she wasn't in love with him either, no matter what she said to other people to shut them up and make them laugh at her insanity.

He was her guiding hand, her protector, her faith. He didn't force her, no, but he didn't tell her what to do either, even when she was making a huge mistake. He simply guided her towards who she was, reminded her that she wasn't some cliche girl with cliche problems, told her how to be, not who to be. She loved him, but not like that. In a way, he was her guardian angel. Religious, but she wasn't, and she loved him all the same.

Then the blossom cleared her vision, because there were people walking at her side. Four boys, three younger and one older, flanked her as she walked through the trees. A brunette with amber eyes and a strange habit of cross dressing was the oldest, but he was actually much younger than her. Only 10 years old, he wasn't even older than her own brother. A blond, blue eyed and serious, writing a novel but he never showed her it when she asked. 11 years old and already much wiser than she'd ever be.

The other two were brunettes as well. The 10 year old had the lightest hair of the three; almost auburn in the evening sunlight. The 12 year old's hair was the darkest, but still pretty in Felicia's opinion. His golden eyes stared into her soul as he glared at her stubbornly, always her guide and voice of reason. Had he not dragged her away from that waterfall all those months ago, she would be dead. As for the final boy, the eldest, she would not reveal his age as it would in turn reveal her own. His hair was medium brown, and wavy, and his smile outshone everything else. In actuality the youngest of them all, he still loved Disney and cute things and cheerful, uplifting pop songs.

These four very different people were all different parts of her. The childish, the effeminate, the voice of reason and the background worries. All worked together to comfort her and guide her throughout her life. They weren't her brothers, but she felt very close to them, almost closer than to her actual brother.

She was Felicia. Not a real name, and she wasn't a real person either. Her school wasn't real, her age wasn't real. Her friends, however, were real.

Just not the ones she wanted to be real the most.

**Author's Note:**

> Well... that got a little weirder than I anticipated, sorry.
> 
> Initially it was going to be a light hearted comedy parodying various aspects of my own life, but I'm heart broken over Sayori chan's death right now, so it ended up getting more depressing and deep near the end.
> 
> I like walking in fields, and there's a rapeseed field near where I live which I walk in year round. Unfortunately, I'm allergic to the pollen, so when I go there in spring I get ill until I leave. Since I lose track of time there, I parodied that too.
> 
> As for the dere friends, I took a few people who I'm actually friends with (I have too many to parody them all: it's a nice change from having no friends) and parodied them all by using 'dere' types. As one of the people I poked fun at actually reads this, I'm sorry and hope you don't get offended since I didn't mean anything by what I said about the parody version of you.
> 
> When it gets into the metaphor of the cherry blossoms and all of the descriptions of people's hair and eyes and what they do, it's sort of an analysis of another part of my mind- like living a double life where there are two different groups of people you want to be friends with, but you can't have them both.
> 
> It's a little difficult to understand, but like I said before, Sayori is still haunting me and I'm really tired, so I don't want to change it.
> 
> FYI, if not for Monika this would have been Matthew The Magnicifebt again. Sorry.
> 
> Prompt- Really obvious self-insert.
> 
> Original Number- 178.
> 
> By the way, I made up the school thing because originally this was going to be me as some anime girl at high school trying to date an anime guy, but I dropped the idea midway through and didn't really want to change the story, instead focussing on the cherry blossom and using it as a metaphor for a cluttered and disorganised mind.


End file.
